Why does my mom believe that every time I speak German, it must be Shakespeare?

People are so stupid, I wish I can put this rant here in German, which would be against the rules but every time I speak German, my mom thinks it's Shakespeare and basically, I'm just saying the same thing I would in English and almost the same exact way how. She couldn't understand what I was saying even though the words were closely related and every time I asked for a book in German, she yelled at me and gave me attitude.